Monthly Archives: September 2014

‘Tis the season

We are on the precipice of the most wonderful time of the year…my birthday.

I’ve always loved this time of year. While my mid-October birthday is naturally the crown jewel (Right?? What special plans do you have for the My Birthday holiday?), I really find everything about fall to be so charming and lovely. The luscious color, cooler temps and a little rain, the delicious smells of crockpot meals and chimney smoke, college football, sweaters, a wagon ride at Cabalo’s Orchard or the Berry Ranch to find the perfect pumpkin, scary costumes…seriously, how is fall not everyone’s favorite? Clap for fall. CLAP FOR IT.

In fact, the only downside to fall is that it rolls out the welcome mat for stupid, freezing, gloomy winter. Okay, winter isn’t always gloomy but it’s wicked cold and my kids get cabin fever and people slip and fall on ice and that sucks.

So for now, we’ll bask in the glory of fall.  Last year, I shared my birthday weekend with Hugo’s baby shower. It was a gorgeous day and I got to be surrounded by my favorite ladies whilst eating Krispy Kreme donuts and drinking hot cider and opening presents. (#thatwasprettysweet #invitepeopletobringdonutsandgiftsmoreoften) I think this year may involve the Candy Apple Orchard and a lot of champagne. And if I can talk her into it, a spice cake from my mama with mini pumpkin patch on top…the same cake she has been baking me off and on for 30 years.

My kids have been talking about Halloween costumes for a month already. (I know, it’s like Birthday Holiday means nothing to them.) They’ve definitely inherited my love of all things spooky…and also…candy. My Littles are going to be so freaking cute… I can’t wait. We started decorating today and Harvey ran to all of the neighbors like Paul Revere telling them Halloween Is Coming!! I hung a paper skeleton on the wall and just realized I posed him to look like he’s dancing Oppa Gangnam style. Op op op.

Okay, enough procrastinating. This entire post is happening because I’m supposed to be calculating odds ratios for my Managerial Epi class. But if I can get the assignment done in like an hour, I might have time to terrorize myself with an episode of American Horror Story on Netflix, at least until my cold meds knock me out.

My porch chalkboard, haunted house spookiness, yes - those heads scare the shit out of you at 3am when you wander out to get some water
My porch chalkboard, haunted house spookiness, yes – those heads scare the shit out of you at 3am when you wander out to get some water


Some of my favorite haunted things. The witch was given to me by Amy in 1996-ish. She's amazing.
Some of my favorite haunted things. The witch was given to me by Amy Jeske Pedersen in 1996-ish. She’s amazing. (Well, they’re both amazing.)





Life After Perfect

funny meme

I can’t relax in chaos. While Hayden looks relatively comfortable kicked back next to a pile of clean laundry with a cold beer and the remote, I would have an anxiety attack. Sitting there, next to something that should be done right now. I can relax after the garbage is out, the kitchen is clean, the toys are tidy, and the floors are vacuumed. It’s the most lame compulsion ever.

I HATE HATE HATE “drop by” guests. Not because I don’t love seeing family and friends, but because I am a ball of nerves with someone in my house and a sink full of dirty dishes.  Hell, I hate when the UPS guy needs a signature because I’m not wearing a bra or lipstick and Harvey has a ketchup mustache.  It’s so dumb. I know, no one actually cares. I’m aware.

And I’m working on it. I’m pretty sure it’s hereditary – that dangerous combination of nature and nurture – the hardest habit to break. But I’m trying to let it go. In the name of fun and sleep and mental health. I can’t do it all the time, but some days I have been able to surprise myself and…let a neighbor come over without first washing the sliding glass door. Baby steps. Baby steps to not breaking out the Murphy’s oil soap. Baby steps to not giving a fuck.

Mostly because, I can’t anymore. Like, I CAN’T. Those people who said I would find four kids to be as easy as three were clearly just trying to keep my spirits up. In my experience, four is incredibly hard…or maybe it’s just their ages.  I can barely deal with the hormones of high-school, 4th grade soccer and before-school choir practice, a toddler who has adopted the alter-ego of Constantine… “the world’s most dangerous frog”…in order to justify bad behavior like locking our cat in a gulag (goo-yawg), and a 10-month-old who has the core strength of Rocky training for his fight with Ivan Drago.

“No, Miss Piggy, (yeah, that’s me) the wooorld’s moooost dangerous froooog doesn’t take naps.” Greaaat. (Image credit – Disney Enterprises)

So, I’m focusing on kids, finishing grad school, and play. And trying to care less about the things no one cares about but me anyway. We’ve been busy and having a good time. I can’t believe it’s been three weeks since I last posted anything… I’ve missed these little chestnuts.  Here’s what we’ve been up to lately.

(But really, can we all agree to make play dough, not beds? Because if you do it too, I won’t feel so guilty. Don’t change out of your pajamas. Order pizza even though you just went grocery shopping. Consider lazy a compliment-worthy achievement.)

Mountain high life
Mountain high life and a special pay phone. Trust me.
Strolling with my homie, Art in the Park, Harvey (aka the world's most dangerous frog) with his masterpiece, the Lightening Dragons mid-field, #5
Strolling with my homie, Art in the Park, Harvey (aka the world’s most dangerous frog) with his masterpiece, Lightning Dragons mid-fielder, #5
Hyde Park Street Fair with Ang and Sara et al
Hyde Park Street Fair with Ang and Sara and beers and unsupervised children (not mine!) and people walking on stilts and hippies and music and fire.